I am the mother of a teenage daughter.
It scares me.
A lot.
How is this happening already?
I don’t feel old enough for this.
With each passing day and experience she has,
I instantly remember what I was doing at that age.
It doesn’t help my anxiety.
At all.
And I was a good kid.
(My parents may disagree, but I really was.)
Even before becoming a mom my goal was to be very open and
honest with my kids.
But how open and how honest should I be?
One day she asked me “When was the first time you kissed a
boy?”
I thought about that, and the honest answer is around third
grade.
So I dodged the question.
“You mean, like, as a boyfriend kind of kissing?”
“Yes,” she replies.
That would be around eighth grade, the same age that she is
now.
And this fall she starts high school.
When I think back to that time, I recall so many challenges,
So many opportunities for growth and for failure.
I’d like her to have a blissful four years
with fantastic, supportive girlfriends,
straight A grades, lots of extra curricular activities,
no alcohol, no drugs and no boyfriends.
I’m not asking a lot, am I?
Okay, I know that’s not realistic.
So do I tell her about my experiences with
completely unexpected backstabbing girlfriends,
or alcohol and what it’s like to get drunk,
or what drugs look like and their potential consequences?
Do I tell her that boys tend to think with their penis,
or when I first had sex and what it feels like?
And how it feels to have your heart broken?
Or is it out of my hands?
2 comments:
I can't even imagine having to make those decisions. I do know that I appreciated the honesty of my father when I asked him questions.
Penny - my son is 18 and thank God, he is a very kind, good-hearted, respectful young man. (Just a little biased :)
Just make sure your daughter understands your family values and that she is expected to live up to them. Hopefully you've instilled them all along, because you can't just automatically start once they become a teen.
By values, I mean whatever standards you hold out and keep as a family - don't smoke, don't use drugs, treat others as you want to be treated, walk away from fights or mean-spirited people with your head held high. And most of all, stress that sex is what God intended for MARRIED people to do with each other, sex before she gets married will ALWAYS end up badly. I know from your other posts that you and your family attend church. Hopefully your daughter has been taught these values all her life. Tell her that there will always be peer pressure to do things that she knows is wrong - let her know that giving in to this is letting down God, her family, and herself.
I'm sure she is going to be fine - you can't prepare her for all bad things such as heartbreaks, mean girls, etc. But if she has a good foundation of training from you and her Dad, as well as high moral standards, she will be well equipped to deal with what comes her way.
~MARIA~
Post a Comment