April 7, 2010

WEDNESDAY WORDS - The bathroom

Here's a snippet of my writing this week:
The vomiting made my throat raw but it did nothing to distract me from the emptiness I felt inside.  I sat with my knees drawn up and my head in my hands.  The emptiness enveloped me and I began to rock back and forth until the soothing rhythm of my own weight shifting forward and back mesmerized my weakened mind.  It was a motion my body knew well and my mind greeted eagerly, knowing that the desire to eat and purge would be temporarily abated with this simple task.  A coping mechanism my therapist had called it.

My thoughts teased and taunted me as I sat.  Why has Richard left me all alone on New Years Eve of all nights?  Am I so terrible?  Is this a sign of the end for us?  The “why” seemed to echo all around me.  I didn’t have the answer and didn’t want to have one.  I pushed the thoughts down again in an effort to maintain a shred of self control.  Coping?  Hardly, I thought, as soft cries began to erupt from the baby’s room.  It was time to be mom again.
Title: Jagged Mirror
Word Count:  7556

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